I listened to podcast today that said
"Forgiveness does not mean reconnecting"
and every time I hear that, it speaks out to me.
Most times we are made to think, that after we forgive someone,
we are meant to try and make it work,
try and fix the patches and just reconnect again.
I have come to learn throughout these years,
that forgiveness has so much more to do with you than the person you are forgiven.
That hurt that the person caused you, that anger he/she ignited in you, that trauma they caused that you cant forget, the disappointment, the failed promises and everything affects you more than it affects them.
Because those feelings, those memories, they stay with you, they are within you,
and it hunts you not them,
maybe guilt hunts them, maybe fear of karma hunts them or maybe nothing fazes them because they don't know the extend of hurt/ trauma they have caused. Perhaps they dont know that they have even caused you harm.
So they get to live their life, trauma free, anger free, without any intensifying pain, no tears or flashbacks, no ptsd.
so why should you, when after all you are the victim.
Its easier said than done, easy for me to say this on this platform when I too struggle,
but aren't we just hurting ourselves even more when we hold onto this grudge,
this armor that we are the victim, that we need an apology, and that they need to fix up.
aren't we giving them so much power, aren't we giving them control over our lives?
when In reality, what does that apology take away,
as insensitive as this may sound, honestly and truly,
sorry has never erased the memories of trauma you lived,
it does not take away the hurt, it might reduce the anger or the pain,
but the true power lives within you,
it resides in us.
and We have to decide to be intentional with our life,
you have to choose you and decide to let go,
decide to forgive that person everyday,
acknowledge that you are in control,
its your life and forgiving them is a means of setting yourself free,
forgiving them is letting all they did to you go, and deciding
that you deserve better.
Forgiving them doesn't me you have to seek for closure, or a sorry,
or an explanation from them because sometimes even they don't have the answer you are seeking for.
"Forgiving them does not mean reconnecting with them"
So let go and forgive them ' for you'.
Forgive the person, forgive yourself for holding you back
and decide that once again,
you will live free.
❤️❤️