Wave

Losing someone always comes like a wave,

unexpected, and if you aren't too firm it sweeps you down to the ground.

When the wave is not too strong, you can quickly get back up,

yet when a huge wave hits you down, its hard to get back up,

so you lay on the ground, try to find solitude and peace there for a while

as a few move waves wash over you.

It takes time, two , three or more waves before you get back up,

soaking, heavy, yet trying to get as far away from the beach,

to lay, to dry up and start all over again.

See when you get to the sand,

thats where paths alternate, some people stand there for a while,

reminisce, ponder, look back at the water and how the waves come and go,

reflect on life and move on,

moving on for them doesn't mean forgetting the wave that hit them,

moving on for them doesn't mean they have forgetten their loss,

moving on, for them means holding on to all the memories, cherishing them,

yet deciding that they have to try to live again.

Yet for others, they stand at the sand, soaking,

and even after the breezy air of life dries them, they still stay there,

they are stagnant, they keep replying the moment the wave hit them, the moment they experienced this loss.

They live in that moment, yet refuse to speak of it.

For them after they turn away from the water, and try to figure out life,

they don't speak about the wave and how it hit them hard,

they skip through the memories, and

that loss is only lived inside of them, and that hurt is intensified everyday,

making some days heavy to live by, because they are still living in a moment that they have refused to acknowledge, a moment that they have refused to share,

or to express the hurt they are feeling, and to stop the pain from intensifying.

A pain that you hide, a loss that you never speak of,

will remain intensifying, it will hunt you but it also hunts those around you,

because they begin to wonder how truly are you coping,

they begin to wonder if you are really sleeping, if you are mentally okay,

they stare at you, and through that smile of yours, they see pain

and they wonder when you will share, when you will let all these emotions you have Locked inside - out

But how can I can speak of trauma you seldom speak out loud,

it has been years and I wonder if I will ever catch you squeal from the heavy load you have Locked inside.

I see through the smile, at least I think I do,

you are not unnoticed,

I just don't know how to speak of a trauma that you haven't spoken out loud yet.