Class Session

Topic - You are sitting in my class, what I can teach you.

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For someone who tries to be articulate in writing, I suck at speaking. I speak so fast, run on so many words and most times I just result to running around in circles failing to express myself. My friend once told me I need a speech pathologist, I really think I do, well one day when I can afford that. Honestly put me in front of a class to speak and I will shiver, my voice never fails to shake and fluent English just suddenly evaporates my head. I wonder how I passed those speeches in my communication class. But give me pen and a paper, or a laptop and I will finely articulate my thoughts, express my self freely without any difficulty.

So I am glad this class session is being held online, glad I can perhaps be able to coherently express myself and give you an interesting lesson today while I comfortable sit on my bed, and type away without any gazes.

So class, I thought of what lessons to teach today and after a bit of hesitation and much deliberation, I decided to teach you the two main lessons I am teaching myself and one thing I am unlearning.

First,

STOP SEEKING VALIDATION & APPROVAL -

As we grow, we learn a lot of things, and we unconsciously pick up habits that we become adapted to. As kids, teenagers, and even adults, there is a huge tendency to seek validation from friends, family or the society. We need to unlearn the act of seeking validation.

You need to stop seeking approval from your parents, stop checking if your actions or decisions align with what your friends deem as okay. We are so accustomed to proving ourselves worthy, their is no need to constantly prove that you are a good friend to stay friends, you don't need to be on the route of success your father deems right. You don't!...

You need to seek validation from yourself, you need to prove things to yourself, grow for you, make tough decisions for you. You need to live for you and you cant really do that if you're chained down by the constant need to seek approval from the people you care about and being hell-bent on meeting all their expectations. Live and do what you love, only then are living your full potential and being true to yourself.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME

We don't have time, we are running on a uncertain limited time and its so unfortunate how as human beings we are orientated to think we got time, orientated to think we got tomorrow to fix up. Who guaranteed you tomorrow? who assured you of a tomorrow?. Honestly we live like we know when our timeline ends. If you died today, this night, the state you are in now, what would you have wished you did differently or better?, think about that question....

So many of us, particularly me, definitely would do so many things differently and work harder on so many things. Yet why is it so hard to do that now?, you want to become hafiz, want to start praying your five daily prayers, want to increase sunnah acts, workout, healthy eating, more mindful lifestyle, whatever it is, you got today, this very moment, so live it because ' you really are not guaranteed tomorrow'. And as overused this sentence may be, it really is reality and you don't want to be taken by the shackle of death with nothing but regrets. Bag on some good rewards, work on yourself everyday like its your last moments.

And in conclusion,

LOVE YOURSELF

Self love isn't something that is really taught to us as kids, especially in my Gambian society. We are taught to care for others, taught to love and share and aid one another, we are taught to give and be selfless, all things which are vital and I really advocate for. But why are kids not taught to first love themselves, to appreciate their efforts, to understand their needs and care for themselves first because that is the first act of being selfless. Like the common statement goes "you cant pour from an empty cup, you need to fill yourself first". We say the nicest stuff to people but have the worst conversation with ourself, we shame ourselves when we fail, we neglect our needs, and forget to care for ourselves.

But hey!

Your experiences and mistakes make you better, you only learn from them, your failures only give you needed experience to excel better the second time, you were created by the fashioner of all forms, the most supreme, so don't ever doubt yourself. Don't doubt your beauty, your creativity or your decisions to do things for you. Love yourself and do things for you. You deserve it.

As I am unlearning the act of seeking approval and validation from people and just focusing on validating myself, loving myself more and giving each day my best. I hope you too benefit from the lessons, and join me as we unlearn bad habits and learn better ones.

Until the next session, have a good day.